The Modern Era:
From Columbus to the Apocalypse
1492 to 2121 AD
Christopher Colombus Discovers America
Vasco da Gama discovers a sea route from Europe to India. European trading posts are soon set up in Bombay and other Indian cities.
Personal firearms become widespread in Europe.
A new Persian Empire is founded by the Safavids.
The Protestant Reformation.
Martin Luther nails his “Ninety-Five Theses” to the door of Castle Church in Wittenburg and many Christians begin seperating from the Roman Catholic Church.
Spanish conquistadors under Hernán Cortés conquer the Aztec Empire in Mexico.
Ferdinand Magellan with his motley crew become the first to circumnavigate the Earth.
The height of the Ottoman Empire.
The Moghul Empire is founded in India.
Together with the empires of the Ottomans and the Safavids, these three make the “gunpowder empires” of the Middle-East.
The Inca Empire is conquered by Spanish conquistadors led by Francisco Pizarro.
The Anglican Church of England seperates from the Roman Catholic Church.
The Reign of Ivan the Terrible; The most terrible Tsar of all.
The Reign of Moghul Emperor Akbar the Great.
The Life of Galileo; Godfather of astronomy.
The Battle of Gravelines
The English narrowly defeat the Spanish Armada and save their country from invasion.
The Dutch East India Company is founded.
Jamestown is established in Virginia.
The telescope is invented in the Netherlands.
The Thirty Years’ War
The Mayflower delivers the Pilgrims to Plymouth Harbour.
The Pilgrims celebrate the First Thanksgiving with some indians.
The English Civil War
The crown is abolished with the execution of King Charles I in 1649. Oliver Cromwell rules as Lord Protectorate from 1653 until his death in 1658.
The Life of Sir Isaac Newton; Great physicist and discoverer of gravity.
The Ching Dynasty is founded in China. Last of the imperial dynasties.
The English crown is restored as Charles II is declared king.
The Maratha Empire is founded in India, the last of the Hindu empires.
The Glorious Revolution occurs in England.
The Nine Years’ War
The War of Spanish Succession
Tsar Peter the Great proclaims the Russian Empire.
George Washington, the Father of America, is born in Virginia.
The Seven Years’ War
The Life of Mozart; Classical composer.
Rip van Winkle sleeps for twenty years.
Napoleon Bonaparte is born.
Captain James Cook of Great Britain discovers Australia, mate.
The Life of Beethoven; Greatest of the classical composers.
The American Revolutionary War
The Declaration of Independance is signed in America.
The steam engine is invented by James Watt.
The Industrial Revolution
The British Empire recognizes the sovereignty of the United States of America.
George Washington is elected first president of the United States of America.
The French Revolution
Napoleon is made consul of France after a coup d’etat.
The death of George Washington. His body passes on but his memory lives on forever in the hearts his citizens.
Coal replaces wind, water and wood as the World’s primary source of energy.
The Napoleonic Wars
Napoleon crowns himself emperor of France.
The End of the Holy Roman Empire
the last emperor, Francis II, abdicates following military defeat to the French emperor Napoleon.
The War of 1812.
Napoleon is defeated at the Battle of Waterloo and is sent into exile on St. Helena Island.
Britain defeats the Maratha Empire and gains control of India.
Napoleon Bonaparte dies.
Photography is invented.
The steam locomotive is invented.
Slavery is abolished in the British Empire.
The telegraph is invented by Samuel M. Morse.
The Reign of Victoria; Queen of Great Britain and Empress of India.
The First Opium War in China.
Matthew Perry (of Friends fame) steams into Edo Bay and opens the doors of Japan to the West.
The Second Opium War in China.
The Indian Mutiny
Britain exiles the last Moghul emperor and establishes her own empire in India.
The American Civil War
~ slavery is abolished in America.
The Meiji Restoration re-establishes the Empire of Japan.
The life of Mohandas Gandhi; Indian spiritual leader. Helps win independence for India.
Kaiser William I unifies Germany and founds the Second Reich.
The telephone is invented by Alexander Graham Bell.
Thomas Edison invents the phonograph.
Thomas Edison invents the lightbulb.
The Life of Albert Einstein; The greatest physicist of all time.
The Gunfight at the O.K. Corral.
Tesla discovers the secret of alternating electrical currents.
The first automobile is put into production.
Adolf Hitler is born in Austria.
The First Sino-Japanese War.
The Life of J.R.R. Tolkien; Master of fantasy.
Radio transmission is invented by Tesla.
The first modern Olympics are held in Athens, Greece.
Count Dracula returns from the dead to haunt the streets of London.
Petroleum becomes the World’s primary source of energy.
The airplane is invented by the Wright Brothers.
Sun Yat-Sen establishes the Republic of China, putting to an end over 2,000 years of imperial rule.
The unsinkable ship Titanic hits an iceberg and sinks.
Tensions between European imperial powers comes to a head with the assination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria, setting off the First World War.
World War I
Edgar Marin, the Old Man Down the Road, is born.
The October Revolution
Led by Vladimir Lenin, the Russian crown is overthrown and the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics is founded.
The Ottoman Empire disintegrates and is partitioned into European protectorates across the Middle-East.
Benito Mussolini comes into power in Italy.
Radio broadcasting comes into widespread use.
The Great Depression begins.
Adolf Hitler and his Nazi goons take over Germany.
The computer is invented by Alan Turing.
The Empire of Japan invades northern China.
Nazi Germany invades Poland, igniting the Second World War.
World War II
The allied powers of Russia and the West join forces against the Axis powers of Germany, Italy and Japan in the greatest conflict the World has ever seen.
The Japanese Attack on Pearl Harbor.
America is forced into the war.
The Jewish Holocaust
Eleven million souls, including six million European Jews, are exterminated systematically by the Nazis.
D-Day; The Allied forces storm the beaches of Normandy, turning the tides of war against the Nazis.
V-E Day; The Fall of Nazi Germany
August 6 & 9
America drops atomic bombs on the Japanese cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, ending the war in the Pacific.
The nation of Israel is returned to the Jews by the British Empire.
India gains independence from Britain.
The Cold War
The People’s Republic of China is founded following the communist victory in the Chinese Civil War (1946-1950).
The Korean War
Television comes into widespread use.
1957 AD, 1 AS
The Space Age Begins
Mankind’s first artificial satellite, Sputnik 1, is launched by the U.S.S.R.
- The Oenotrian calendar begins: Year 1 A.S.
Soviet cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin becomes the first man in space.
The Vietnam War (it’s a crime, man)
American astronaut Neil Armstrong becomes the first man to set foot on the Moon.
The First Seven Journeys to Luna.
Roopirt Pasqal, the best damn logger in Fort Frankforp, is born.
Todd Ferguson IV, third generation Fort McMurrian and oilsands worker, is born in Fort McMurray.
Elvis Presley dies. Long live the King of Rock and Roll.
The Iranian Revolution
Ryley Nickel is born in Edmonton, Alberta. Genius, scholar and gentleman.
The fall of the Berlin Wall.
The End of the Cold War and Fall of the U.S.S.R.
The Gulf War
The European Union is Founded
Edgar Marin, the Old Man Down the Road, dies.
The internet comes into widespread use.
The Reign of George W. Bush; Greatest of American presidents.
Tuesday, September 11
The World Trade Center in New York is destroyed by Moslem terrorists under the leadership of the asshole, Osama bin Laden.
~ The War on Terror Begins
The Afghanistan War
The Iraq War
Ryley Nickel posts this beauty on the world wide web.
Osama bin Laden is shot and killed in his secret lair by America’s finest, and justice is finally served.
Tuesday, May 3
A devastating wildfire named “The Beast” decimates the northern Canadian city of Fort McMurray.
Jacob “Jack” Jenkins-Fisher is born at Syncrude Camp, a few miles north of Fort McMurray.
An evacuee baby.
Arnold Schwarzenegger serves as the 46th president of the United States. Is even better than George W. Bush.
Man returns to the Moon. Establishes first permanent base.
The European Union consolidates itself as a unified state and the European Federation is born.
Jack Jenkins-Fisher, at the age of 16, incurs a rare, incurable, terminal disease.
Thursday, January 13: Under doctors suggestion and his parent’s permission, he is put under suspended animation until a cure can be found.
No cure is found and he is never woken up while his parents are still alive...
Domestic robots come into widespread use.
The first manned journey to the planet Mars.
Scientists discover an Earth-like planet orbiting the star Alpha Centauri A. Nations race to develop the technology needed to send men to this new world.
The transnational corporation McDisneymart™ buys and takes over the Phillipines, the first company to buy out a sovereign nation.
The world’s economy grows bleak as fossil fuels slowly run dry.
The presidency of Barron Schwarzenegger, grandson of the former president.
The Antichrist, Leopold Nicolai, is born in the city of Rome.
World War III
America vs. China
The Times of Tribulation
Following the Third World War, China lies defeated and the power of America is greatly weakened. Global resources are diminished and despotic powers arise in Europe, Russia, and the Middle East to vie for what remains.
In the decades following the war, the World suffers from a series of famines and plagues, the likes of which the modern world has never known, and previously rich nations begin to resemble third world countries....
Chuck Norton, the New Federalist Party nominee, defeats both Republicans and the Democrats in the federal elections and becomes President of the United States of America, serving five terms and dying in office in 2079.
The Jewish Third Temple is constructed in Jerusalem over the ruins of the Dome of the Rock (destroyed during the war).
The People’s Republic of China, defeated by America in World War III, is overthrown following the Second Chinese Civil War (2060-2064) and the New Empire of China is established. A much weaker power than it’s predecessor.
Canada is annexed by the United States of America.
Project Helios is founded.
A daring mission by the United States of America to send human beings to the blue planet discovered around Alpha Centauri, which is named: Phaethon.
In the dark times of the post-war, late 21st Century, this mission is seen as a light of hope for all Mankind.
Construction begins on the Norton Dam Project, which is supposed to protect Washington D.C. from rising sea levels.
Fort Mueller is established in Montana in preperation for the manned mission to Alpha Centauri.
Leopold graduates from the University of Paris, the top of his class.
America celebrates it’s tricentennial.
A massive engineering feat designed to protect the Mediterranean Sea and area from rising sea levels.
Hundreds of millions are killed world-wide by the worst plague ever to strike Mankind.
~ World population stalls and reverses at 10 billion.
The Helios, mankind’s first interstellar spacecraft, is launched towards Alpha Centauri by the American government with a crew of 144; fifty couples and their children.
It is calculated that the ship should reach it’s destination in 40 years.
Leopold enters the European Parliament.
At the age of 40, Hujjat bin Hassan becomes Mohammed al-Mahdi, great leader of Moslems.
Leopold is appointed as the president of the European Federation.
Leopold becomes the self-proclaimed Emperor of Europe; allies himself with the corrupt Pope Constantine III. Signs a peace treaty with Israel.
Israel is suddenly attacked by a coalition of Russian, Turkish and Egyptian forces.
World War IV
Russia and a coalition of Middle Eastern powers go to war against Israel who is supported by America.
Europe remains strangely neutral and offers refuge for anyone afflicted by the horrors of war. Leopold is regarded as a saviour.
America, who has been supporting Israel all along, formally enters the war.
Friday, April 8
Leopold is stabbed in the head in an assassination attempt.
Sunday, April 10
Leopold makes a seemingly miraculous recovery. Pope Constantine declares him to be the Second Coming and Leopold outlaws and persecutes any and all “heretics” who do not submit to him and his Roman Church.
August 29 - September 11
For thirteen days, a volley of thousands of nuclear warheads decimate nearly every major city in the world.
Civilisation is left in ruins and for the next three and a half years, Nuclear Winter darkens the skies across the Earth.
The mysterious figure known as the “White Rider” begins to raise followers in Israel.
Mohammed al-Mahdi and his holy representative, Musa Akbar, kneel before the “White Rider” and begin their holy mission of justice.
Friday, April 4
Mohammed al-Mahdi and Musa Akbar are assassinated in Jerusalem hours prior to the city being destroyed by a terrible earthquake.
There are some who say that they were resurrected three days later and ascended unto heaven. Either way, the people of Israel cry out against Leopold and the forces of Europe and the Roman Church descend upon Israel “like locusts”.
Sunday, September 21
The Battle of Armageddon
The armies of Leopold and Israel convene on the field of Megiddo in northern Israel. Leopold is slain by the “White Rider” at the conclusion of the battle.
~ The “White Rider” rides away.
The Post-Apocalypse Begins...